Masculine or Feminine?

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Are You Too Masculine or Feminine in Your Relationship?

Porn is screwing up our sex lives, but there is something important we can learn from it. Porn understands the polarity of male and female energy. We need to learn about masculine/feminine energy and how in every relationship, gay or straight, this dynamic is played out.

Every person has both feminine and masculine energy. Women tend to have more feminine energy and men tend to have more masculine energy. However, some women have more masculine energy just like some men are more feminine in nature, this energy is not gender based. As women gained more independence, we took on more masculine energy. This is great for a woman’s career and her ability to succeed in the world, but it’s screwing up our relationships and our sex lives.

In any relationship where there’s sexual attraction and deep connection — you’ll find the power of opposite energies or polarity at work. We tend to have sexual chemistry with people who have an opposing energy to our own. Feminine energy is very open and receptive. It’s pleasure-focused and creative. Masculine energy is single-minded, task orientated and giving in nature. Feminine energy needs to feel wanted, and masculine energy wants to feel needed. Feminine energy is about being; masculine energy is about doing.

For a relationship to work, you need to have things in common. But for the relationship to be passionate, you need to have things that are different. And by that, I mean different energy and interests – not different beliefs or values. This is what creates sexual attraction. So, if you have more dominant feminine energy, then you will find things in common with others with feminine energy, but you will find sexual desire and chemistry with masculine energy.

When most people are under-pressure or overwhelmed, they go into the opposite energy. Most women, for instance, when feeling stressed, will switch to a masculine energy as a defence mechanism. When this happens, they tend to criticise and try to control, and all sexual chemistry dissipates.

To complicate matters, if you are with someone with dominate masculine energy, this will cause conflict and disconnection. Or the masculine partner goes into feminine energy, shutting down and being passive or overly emotional, causing the female partner to feel ignored, not understood or unsafe.

A lot of women today are leading with masculine energy in their relationships, and this causes masculine men to be turned off and not interested. Or they attract feminine energy men who want the woman to lead. Now if this works for you, that’s fine. But every day, I have another woman in my office complaining about how men aren’t stepping up and being the alpha male they want. If you want your partner to “step up and be a man,” you need to sit back and let them take the lead.

feminine and masculine

When I first learned about male and female energy in relationships, it pissed me off. My initial reaction was “That’s bullsh*t! Am I supposed to be some surrendered, doormat that let’s men control me? No thanks.” However, I was single at the time and I kept attracting very feminine beta males that wanted me to take the lead and I had zero physical chemistry with. I realized that I was leading with masculine energy with men and as a result was attracting the exact opposite type of man I wanted.

So, how can you stay in the energy that nourishes you and keeps the chemistry going?

If you identify with feminine energy, try to bring that energy into your relationship. Allow your more masculine partner to take the lead; it’s incredible what can shift in a relationship when you lean back and give your partner the opportunity to step up. It also allows for the magic of polarity to ignite some sparks.

Do not try to control or criticize, and stop over-functioning in the relationship. If you do everything for him, you will feel like his mother – and men do not want to sleep with their mothers! Spend time with other women and learn to just be. Meditation, guided visualisations, doing something creative are all ways you can connect with your feminine energy.

Another concept to tap into your feminine energy which I believe is the most powerful of all is connecting with the source of feminine energy. And this is tapping into the power of the pussy. Be aware of your pelvic floor muscles and just by tensing and relaxing the muscles within your vajayjay – you are activating your feminine energy.

If you identify with masculine energy, take the lead in planning time together with your partner. Spend time bonding with other men. Or try boxing or a vigorous workout with heavy weights and body weight exercises to increase your masculine energy quicker than almost anything else.

Intense exercise gives you a boost of testosterone, an endorphin rush, and increases your pheromone production which will increase your sexual attractiveness. It’s also good for your confidence, sex drive, and wellbeing.

Connecting with your dominate energy is the fastest way I know to increase your sexual attractiveness, intensify your sexual encounters, and bring back the spark in your relationships.


The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida

Make Him Fall For You: Tools For Love by Rori Raye

Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men by Regena Thomashauer

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